beth & harry

canberra wedding

Where to even start?

Beth’s sister, Kate, said in her speech that one of the things she admires most about Harry is his ability to constantly and honestly re-assess his beliefs and systems of thinking. Early on in their relationship Beth called Harry out for some of the double standards he used for the women in his life and, alongside Kate, pushed him to re-evaluate his personal biases. Initially taken aback, he then spent a while educating himself on the politics of equality and feminism. Years later, after Beth and Harry got engaged, Beth told Harry that she wanted to keep her last name.

And then Harry told her that he wanted to take her last name instead. 

That decision was a statement, a recognition that despite all the positive steps towards equality we’ve made there is still a long way to go. A peaceful protest. An incredibly simple switching of the norms that highlights so much. Harry’s brother Mark admitted in his speech that when Harry first told him of his intentions he thought it was a ludicrous idea, and what good could come from it? Harry replied that if it initiated even a single conversation about equality that it would be worth all the inevitable jibes and pointed questions, and that the point he and they were trying to make was that if Beth had instead changed her name no one would have batted an eyelid. To me, it draws attention to two things - the systemic, seemingly innocuous ways in which inequality continues to propagate, and the immense love and commitment these two have for each other.

And all this has nothing to say of the small moments and facets of each of them that made the day what it was, and makes their relationship what it is. Of the graceful and eloquent way Beth grasped each and every one of her bridesmaids hands in turn and explained why they were there and why each of them meant so much to her, of when Harry, overwhelmed with emotion during a particularly poignant part of his brother’s speech blindly reached behind him to feel her with him, of the one thousand and one ways in which they are so clearly so perfect for each other.

Not just content with making statements, the two of them also threw a freaking raucous party with the Baker Boys inspiring one of the wilder dance floors I’ve seen in recent times (including a flash-mob style surprise dance Beth and her mates choreographed to a Beyonce tune) , and an after party that went well into the wee hours of the night.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, literally the only thing you technically have to do on your wedding day is have a registered celebrant say a couple of sentences (which as it happens is exactly what these two did - they turned up to the ceremony together, said a few hello’s, then made their own way to the front of their gathered friends and family and said there vows before the celebrant came up to speak the required sentences). The rest is entirely up to you. Question the norms, question the needs, and most of all question the traditions that don’t make any sense to you.

I normally point out moments worth keeping an eye out for but in this case I feel like I’ve already said enough, and will let the story speak for itself.

Fuck I love this job.

Enjoy

Dane

PS Canberra, you’re outrageously beautiful